My Life

I feel like I have not been blogging like I should the last few weeks, life has been so crazy busy. With Madie in school, Ethan in Preschool (it's my turn to host next week), volunteering in Madie's class, going out of town, and Birthdays (Happy Birthday to my sweet Husband) there are plenty of days where it seems like nothing gets done that I want to get done. I guess there are just seasons of our life that are just busy. I also feel like I am in a creative rut. I have dreams of what I want to be, talents I want to develop, things I want to accomplish, but sometimes my fear and anxiety prevent me from actually doing. I fear that I will not become what I want that I will not create the person that is waiting for me to make myself into. I think I want things to quickly I am impatient with myself and I expect to go from start to finish faster than is really doable. I look at my children and feel time slipping away. I have not been journaling about them and what they are doing near enough lately.

Madie is a sweet little soul. She has entered some emotional time of childhood. Yesterday she cried and cried about not wanting to go to school, about missing me and wishing she could be at home all day. It tore at my heart stringd something fierce and it was hard to try to explain that she had to go to school. I cried a few times myself that day thinking about her at school and missing her too. She just finished reading her first Magic Treehouse chapter book (she has been reading outloud to Jeff and I at bedtime). I am very proud of her. She still loves to pretend, create and has a totally silly sense of humor. I love this little girl so much. Having her gone to school all day is hard I truly feel uncomplete when she isn't here and my heart feels glad when she is home.

Ethan is loving school and it has been really fun to see the things that he create s and to see him learning new things. It is going to have a hard for him now that the weather is cooling off outside because "playing out" time won't be for too much longer. Ethan lives for the time "when Landon is asleep so he can watch a show and have Mommy Ethan time. Ethan's favorite thing to do lately it seems is ride his bike. He is a little speed demon these days and has done great on our walks around the nieghborhood. I see him maturing so much. He is obsessed with Marvel Heros. His favorites being: Spiderman, Hulk, and Wolverine. I am glad that I still have a year and a half more with him before school, because I still see things he needs to learn, ways he needs to mature, and I love spending time with this little guy. It is amazing to me to see how he has changed over the last year and half. Ethan was such a hard little baby I think it scared me that it would always be that way, and while we still have hard times every now and then I can see that he has improved and is turning into a great little boy.

Landon, where do I begin. This little guy is a sweetheart. Don't get me wrong there are plenty of times he is found twisting around on the floor because he didn't get his own way, but he has the sweetest side to him. He can just look at you and melt your heart. He has the funniest little faces and he is silly. This kid already knows just how to get a laugh, just how to annoy his brother and sister and just how to get what he wants. I truly love him. He has a very curious nature and loves to dig things out of drawers, cupboards, and bags. He loves to be held and to snuggle, he loves to run away and then look behind him just make sure you're still there. He swings his right arm when he runs and is totally into sticking out his tongue. Landon also has at least six teeth coming in right now and even though he hasn't been the greatest sleeper he has been pretty good through it. Landon loves cars, trains, crayons, books, shoes, the phone, sitting in little chairs, being outside, riding his very teeny Radio Flyer sit and scoot, and running away. It is fun to see him becoming less baby and more little boy. He is a joy and a blessing.

So that's what the kids are up to and now I feel better that I journaled. One thing to mark of the to do list that is always running. I do have to say that I read some of the talks from conference today was was truly inspired. If I could just do everything they say life would be so much greater I would be so much improved. I know that with all I think I fail in I succeed in others even if those things are small like reading a book with Madie, snuggling with Ethan, playing with Landon, those things small, but so important. I judge my success with all the things I can physcially see, but spending time with my children and helping create their little personalities is the greatest of accomplishments. I do have my dreams; dreams that I want to make come true, talents that I am determined to improve in and become successful in. I guess I just need to be patient in accomplishing those things, not compare myslef to others and give my self credit for the journey. Life might be busy and mundane at times, but this is My Life and I am determined to do my best however small the accomplishments may be.